Which one are you?

It seems to me, that people seek 1 of 2 things in their lives. Either you seek to improve yourself, or you seek to improve your situation. The person who seeks to improve their situation, is always looking for better things, or more of what they already have. They want a better job, better car, better house, sometimes even a more attractive or financially stable partner. They are more worried about their reputation, or how they appear to others, than about who they actually are inside, and who they become. The other type of person, seeks to improve themselves. They strive to learn, grow, change, and experience different things to make themselves a more well rounded person. This kind of person wants to be a better partner, parent, employee, or leader in their community, not for how it benefits them, but because they want to make life better for everyone else around them. One is a giver, the other is a taker. One focuses on being self-centered, the other focuses on being others-centered. The older I get, the easier it is to tell them apart, the more disappointed in humanity I am, and the more I appreciate who God is.

What footprint are you leaving behind?

There are so many things in this life and in our world that would be better if people would care. They just don’t. They’re more concerned about their “image” and selfish gratification regarding what they think they’re “entitled” to. God wants us to care about our impact and how we assert our influence. He wants us to care about what our friends, family, and community really need (not the shallow stuff). He wants us to care about our world, the creatures in it, and how we treat it. Life and it’s blessings are a gift. How are you using yours?

On The Day She Stops Nagging You | Thought Catalog

Jakob OwensOn the day she stops nagging you, she will make her coffee just as she likes it. Watching her favorite flavor of creamer dance into darkness, starting her day peacefully. Not wondering if, after all this time, you actually cared enough to make her a cup, much less know how she likes it. She’ll sigh as she wonders why it was always too much to ask you to consider.

Your preference – cream, two sugars, extra hot – will graze her mind.

On the day she stops nagging you, she will play her favorite record as loud as she likes it. Chuckling at the memories attached to the melody. Not hinting for you to ask why she loves this band so much, much less even know who they are. She’ll smirk knowing the playlist she made you was never opened.

Your favorite songs – the ones often replayed while you were home– will play in her mind.

On the day she stops nagging you, she won’t trip over your things on the floor while placing her cup in the sink. Not making a mental note to wash it before you come home, as she knows it’s one of your biggest pet peeves. She’ll relax knowing she can get it to it later.

Your scent – no longer circling her room – will be missed when she breathes in a sigh of relief.

On the day she stops nagging you, she’ll grab her socks out of the drawer instead of the laundry basket. She emptied it months ago, waiting for you to ask for shared space. Shrugging, she supposes that made it easier, because you never filled it. You never even tried.

Your promise – “I’m not going anywhere” – rings in her ears as she closes the drawer.

On the day she stops nagging you, she will check her email. She will open new tabs without notifications she never wanted to see. She’ll bite her lip, remembering, feeling guilty as you called her needy.

Your account – the one you would forget to log out of – quickly overtook the screen with chat bubbles, ironically timed stamped during her being told she “needed too much of your time.”

On the day she stops nagging you, she will change her Instagram default. She won’t hesitate to wonder if her makeup is too much for your liking. Not curious why her screen suggests she “knows” a string of single women you’ve recently followed.

Your activity feed – full & public – doesn’t remind her she’s hidden or unworthy of two seconds of your time.

On the day she stops nagging you, she’ll take herself to lunch. Excitingly combing the menu in anticipation, like she’s seeing a long-lost friend. Savoring each bite like a victory. Digesting the validity of her opinions again.

You never took her – not even on her birthday – to her favorite restaurant.

On the day she stops nagging you, she will receive common courtesy from others she fought for you to consider to show. She’ll have perfect strangers acknowledge her presence without request. Co-workers and acquaintances ask about her day.

Your dismissal of her thoughts will seem confusing as colleagues show the interest she pleaded you for every night.

On the day she stops nagging you, she’ll be taken back by how easy her routine flows. She accepts invitations from friends without worry if you’ll be “in the mood” to attend. Embracing her stomach sans-knots, without concern of you making jokes at her expense.

Your excuses – rehearsed to keep you in good standings – won’t be necessary for her to have a nice night.

On the day she stops nagging you, she’ll order another round at happy hour. The large crowd and noisy hall will help her unwind and de-stress. Not planning an Irish exit when you give her “the look,” followed by her knowing better when it comes to you and busy bars.

Your absence allows her to order her vodka of choice, knowing she won’t have to defend her choice of money spent.

On the day she stops nagging you, she will walk home through the park. She will take in the sun set as it glows on the lake. Spotting an elderly couple, hands clasped as they walk, she will smile. She will fantasize about someone, someday, treating her like the lovebirds ahead.

Your hands aren’t shoved in your pockets, your eyes don’t roll as she reaches for yours. You aren’t there to remind her it’s a pipe dream, at best.

On the day she stops nagging you, she will turn the shower to hot. She will satisfy her own needs without feeling hurried to stop “wasting your time.” She will make herself comfortable – not punctual – and will release guilt-free. She will smile in enjoyment at control her sensuality again.

Your concept of how long a woman should take to climax doesn’t pressure her to disregard herself. She’s reassured that her needs don’t depend on your terms.

On the day she stops nagging you, she will crawl into bed. She will roll over and place her hand on your side. She had every intention of reading her book, without you turning the light off mid-page. Knowing her habits, once found endearing by you, now an annoyance despite the comfort she needs to sleep well herself.
You will grumble about how she never lets you get a decent night’s sleep. As if your schedule doesn’t effect hers.

On the day she stops nagging you, she will remember that you weren’t always this way. She will miss when you were intrigued by her, when she felt like you cared. Fondly recalling when each other’s time was worth thanks instead of spite, when there was no such thing as too close or too much.

You used to never stop talking to anyone about her; you used to shout your love from the rooftops whenever you could.

On the day she stops nagging you, she will replay your relationship in her mind. Like a movie. You asked her about every facet. Every detail and scar. She never had to ask for your attention, you were grateful to have hers.

You made her promises, endlessly, and she believed every word.

On the day she stops nagging you, she will stop fighting. For your attention, your courtesy, your time. For you to hear what she communicating, her intentions. Not to tear you down, but lift you up again. For you to show her the respect she knows you’re capable of giving her.

She was never asking you to be a different man, just the man she fell in love with. She just wants you to love her like you used to before.
On the day she stops nagging you, she will be hit by reality. She will realize the man she fell for was an act, merely a line. She wonders why it’s easier to make her at fault, than to step up and be the partner she signed up for in the first place.

You didn’t have the backbone to say you didn’t love her anymore. So you make her the problem you should “run away from.”

On the day she stops nagging you, she will knw it didn’t fail because of socks on the floor. Cups in the sink. Social media comments. Crowded bars or personal preferences. Different styles of humor, and so forth.

You called her critical, said her expectations were too high.

On the day she stops nagging you, she will say goodbye to the man you’ve become. The one who forgets she exits from across the kitchen. The one who makes her feel unworthy of basic conversation. The one who stopped enjoying her, the man that was her life.

You know, they say “an appreciated woman never nags.”

On the day she stops nagging you, she will know a woman is a reflection of her partner. Critical words come from crucial voids, balanced lives come from fulfilled hearts. Forgotten lovers forget loving words, connected couples relate respectfully.

Your actions cause reactions. You reap what you sow.

On the day she stops nagging you, may it be because she was worth the effort to know what creamer she likes in her coffee. Why a song makes her smile. Where her favorite lunch is served. May you love her so completely & wholly her world can’t be shaken by small hiccups together or socks on the floor.

On the day she stops nagging you, she may love you or leave you. But either way, you’re just receiving what you were willing to give.

By Jaqui Duncan

Source:  https://thoughtcatalog.com/jaqui-duncan/2016/12/on-the-day-she-stops-nagging-you/

Our Legacy

Thank God I was raised by parents of the “Greatest Generation.” They understood things like rationing for the war effort, waiting in lines for food or going without during the Depression, young people working to help their own family pay household bills, serving and being loyal to their country, and being prepared for disasters.

Even though I didn’t have to live through those things myself, my parents passed their understanding and perspective on to me. I appreciate and am grateful for that. My mother taught me manners and integrity, and my father gave me his good old German work ethic. If you really need or want something, you better work hard for it. They both taught me to be frugal and live modestly.

We lived in an upper middle class suburban neighborhood. As I was growing up, I saw my friends being given everything. They had bigger houses, nice cars, designer clothes. I came home one day and asked my mom “Mom, are we poor?” She literally burst out laughing and in response said, “No honey, we’re not poor. We own everything we have. Other people finance everything. They don’t own their house, or their cars, and use credit cards for their clothes and vacations.” Then I asked, “If we have money, then why don’t you buy me the popular clothes and things like the other kids’ parents buy them?” She said, “Because if we gave you everything, then you wouldn’t learn to appreciate what you have. When you work for things yourself, you realize the value of time and money.”

Earlier this year I was driving through the high school parking lot to pick up my daughter at school. I looked around to see that almost every car parked in the student area was nicer than mine. Seriously? I’m sure these kids didn’t pay for these cars themselves. Their parents probably didn’t want to be embarressed by their child being seen driving a “beater” that they worked for and bought with their own money.

Unfortunately many in our country have forgotten the wisdom of my parents’ generation (or were never taught by their parents), and have brought children into this world who also don’t understand these concepts. It’s become a “keep up with the Joneses” country where both parents would rather have $60,000 cars and the newest iPhone than sacrifice and spend quality time raising their children. Their focus is “entitlement”.

Self-centeredness, immaturity and lack of values has destroyed the future generation of America. Children are alone and stressed most of the time. Young people are afraid for their future and angry that those before them have stolen their hope. They are facing huge amounts of college debt, and don’t even believe they will ever be able to buy a home of their own. They have doubts that their relationships will last, and worry that if they have children, they may also suffer through divorce.

This is the legacy our generation has left our children? This is the result of the choices our generation have made (we 70-35 year olds). WE are the problem. Not the kids. Not the guns. Not half the things we blame circumstances on.

The world we live in today is the world we have made. We could do something about it, but we won’t. We’re too selfish and lazy to do that. It’s our children that are suffering as a result, and that makes me really angry. It will blow up in our face. My only hope (besides God Himself), is that our kids who have have watched from the sidelines and basically had to raise themselves, will figure out how to fix it before it’s too late.

I love my country. I love my freedom. But with that freedom comes the responsibility to do what’s right, not just whatever the h_ll we want. Grow up. Sacrifice. Practice honor and integrity. Value people and the intangible more than things you can buy with money.

I pray God protects and blesses our children…Lord knows we haven’t.

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